Whats up Doc' Riley and IU app

This month seems to be flying by. I got a letter over the weekend to confirm the appointments for Josie' the first appointment will be October 9Th with Dr. Lillie-Mae Padilla at IU Medical hospital in Indianapolis specializing in Maternal Fetal Medicine, special interests are prenatal diagnosis
pregnancy and diabetes, high-risk obstetrics
ultrasound, chronic villi sampling, amniocentesis, and counseling. She will be the one to make the proper diagnosis for Josie and she will be the one to let me know what to expect in the weeks to come. I am both very nervous and excited to meet her. I was a little surprised by her name as she shares the name of my maternal grandmother whom died before I was even born. I thought that was very cool. My next appointment from their will be October 22 at Riley's Children's hospital with Dr. Laurie Ackerman she is a Nero surgeon and her interests are Hydrocephalus, Myelomeningocele, Brain tumor, Spinal cord, Tumors, Craniosynostosis, Brain trauma and she will be the one to perform Josie's surgery. I am staying true to my word and keeping this in Gods hands because ultimately God is the only one who is in control of our lives and will be keeping a watchful eye over my little princess. Mommy loves you Josie and I will do everything in my power to ensure your health. I cant wait to see you and kiss and hold you in my arms.

Bulid-A-Bear

Kier has been a very supportive big sister since this all began. I was worried she would feel put off because my emotions have been up and down since this whole pregnancy has come about' she is after all my only one for 15 years now. I must say I have a really wonderful daughter and I feel as though I have done a great job in raising her especially when it comes to trying times like these. I can always count on her to be the one to try to help alieve some of my stress by coming up and rubbing on my shoulders asking me everyday how my day was, and every morning by telling me she loves me before she treks out the door for school or hanging out with her friends. My Lil girl is growing up and she is very thoughtful. That warms my heart. The other day I got a call from Kiersten and she asked if we could go to Build-A-Bear to make a bear for Josie and of course she wanted to know if it would be okay if she made one. I felt a warmth in my heart and I knew that she was extending her thoughts out to her Lil sister coming into the world knowing just how loved she was going to be. I tell you their is nothing more sweeter than knowing you have children with a heart as big as the world. I love you Kier and you are your mommas world you never cease to amaze me at just how very dear you can be. Your sister is lucky to have such a great person for a big sister. I know you will teach her and love her as much as anyone. I am very proud God gave you to me and I have never regretted one minute of being your mom and I am very blessed. So this weekend Kier and I will make our way to Build-A-Bear to make her and Josie a bear I am going to let Kier name both bears this will be her special present for her Lil sister and I want her to know I trust that she will make the most perfect bear for the occasion.

Somethings Wrong with Josie?

The first time I heard this come out of my doctors mouth I shut down almost immediately' because of everything We had been through to this point I was sure this was not going to be something I could go through when my strength had fell to the side. I was instantly sick, confused beyond belief, and really mad. I want to know how can I make this better, what can I do. My doctor assured me this was nothing I had done my other ultra sounds where fine and this was typically a genetic type of condition "hydrocephalus" I hated it when I heard it' I wanted it outta of my daughter and outta of our lives. I was so unsure and every medical piece of information I came across made me sick. It seemed every case was different, Lil was known about it and what caused it' and to top it all off their was different forms of the condition. Wow I was lost and I shut down in my doctors office so I was really in limbo for a few days, I used those days to focus on what was important, MY DAUGHTER' BOTH OF THEM! I talked to God I asked him to take away my anxiety and you know he did' I asked God to put understanding in my heart and where it hurt with uncertainty was suddenly filled with assurance, I asked God to please keep me and my thoughts open and optimistic and I have had zero pessimistic images in my mind. I have decided with Gods help we would be okay regardless of the outcome. I gave the Internet another chance and I came across threads with all kinds of different parents going through similar situations as myself and a lot of them had great things to speak of. I am looking forward to getting to know other parents faced with the issues that have been placed in our path and I am really looking forward to getting to know the Nero doctors/ surgeons and staff at Riley's Children's hospital in Indianapolis. I have a high regard for my faith and my daughters life and I plan to do everything I can to ensure she will have the best quality of life. I am thankful for my family, friends, my job, co-workers, and all the people who have helped me along our way. Gods Speed, and God Bless.

A baby are you sure'

It was March 24Th I woke up so, so tired went to work' I work in a nursing division and had decided I wanted to rule out some reason to why I was feeling this way outta nowhere. I took a pregnancy test and my God it was positive' this fell on the same day two years after I had lost my father to brain cancer. I was both excited and terrified because I was no longer in a relationship with the man (I wont mention) who fathered my Lil girl to be. In April I had a miscarriage and I was devastated I prayed to God about things I had done that may have attributed to this loss, did a lot of soul searching and finally came to terms with what had happened I decided to take up jogging again it was something that had always made me feel better and it was working on my physical as well as my emotional well being. I say about 6 weeks had passed and my symptoms had started to return I was never sick mind you but it was that wave of tiredness. On Monday I had came back to work to take a test I knew that about a month it would take for my body to even begin to start returning to normal but I was very surprised to see a positive test and i called my doctor to enquire. I knew their was no chance this was a new pregnancy and was very confused he sent me out for blood work and I as well as him was surprised to find out that I was still showing I was pregnant on my Hg level as if I had never had a miscarriage.. WOW' I was instructed in may be a partial embryo and instructed to have a abortion. No way I wanted to look and see what was going on for my self so I called my doctor back not my pregnancy doc and asked for his help he had a emergency ultra sound performed and their she was' I was so full of water I could have flooded the whole room out but when I seen her a wave of calmness came over me and I just adored her' my sister was with me and she too was at a loss for words' God showed me his favor and that is how this all came to be.